A Sexy Article and an Interview with Eric Amaranth

Saturday, April 5th, 2014

Happy Sexy CoupleWoke up this morning to find a surprise in my inbox. Elizabeth Palermo, a journalist for www.businessnewsdaily.com, emailed me letting me know she had included me in an article of some “sexy startups.”

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“Everyone Is Like Me, Right?” and The More.

Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

big female orgasmI had a conversation with a friend of mine about what she thought may have been the most pivotal erroneous belief she had about sex– past tense. Now, she sees things differently. It’s one of the most common presumptions I hear: believing everyone has the same anatomy and sexual capabilities that you have, the same progression of learning about sex, and the same sexual skills knowledge or lack thereof.

My mentor Betty Dodson has a section in her book, Sex For One, describing how her mother would say things like:

“Oh Betty Anne, everyone knows that.”

Or the opposite…

“That isn’t true.” (because it wasn’t true for her).

Both examples swing to their opposites; not everyone knows that even though you figured a piece out by yourself and “it” is true for certain people.

My friend said my info helped her see the variability out there or as I call it, the spectrum. In my view, people lie along spectrums of understanding, innate neurological pleasure capability, how strong their sex skill sets are, etc. There is no sole capability, just trends of what the majority vs minority experience.

Couples have to change from looking at sex like, “Things I can and can’t do,” which is harder for most people to make change through. Dismay over what you don’t know yet puts so many people in micro-depressions which causes them to turn away from taking the few steps needed to become better at creating sexual enjoyment in themselves and their partners.

Dismay’s subtle poison that stops growth extends to any kind of self-improvement. Instead, look at it like you’re on a continuum and you want to move more so in one direction than the other.

People think there is only one way to be at sex: better or worse, but it’s more multifaceted than that. For example, I have and have had clients who want changes on one end of a spectrum, let’s say male ejaculation control. A man will want to slow his time to orgasm down, but another has difficulty ejaculating during sex. When I mention that the opposite of coming too fast is out there, people are often fascinated that variant exists.

A statement I find myself making a lot about how to have better sex is, “Yes, and there’s more.” Yes, you can tear each other’s wet clothes off in shower after a gym workout. That’s great. But there’s more. Imagine what the shower-tear-off would be like when you know how to combine that with the ‘more’ too.” Ice cream is good. A well-made ice cream sundae with a side of warm crepes is better.

“The more” is devoting yourself to strengthening your abilities to give and receive pleasure. To surpass capabilities you believe you already have. Then make yours the things you’ve never heard of, and finally combining it all together. You’re not done yet: roll hot talk into that. Roleplay, clothes ripping, music, your voice tones, all of it. Into a triple-decker sexual experience that’s much greater than its individual parts alone.

I had dinner with a couple who were clients of mine at a sushi restaurant after a session and they said my way of having sex was like the elaborate delicious sushi rolls that combine many elements for a taste you can’t get any other way. Some of the best dishes in the world are artful combinations of seasonings and preparation methods.

We can do the same for our sense of touch and minds. You can make masterpieces of your sex life when one wants it and sets out to make it happen. The positive urban legend you hear every once in a while of the person who has no idea what their lover is doing to them, but is in awe before they come hard is exactly what I’m talking about.

And there’s more… like telling them exactly what you’re doing– flawlessly because you’re so damn good at it. That’s another thing I hear: “Wow, we are so good at this.”

Valentine’s, Real Passion or Acting, and Wanting The Best

Sunday, February 23rd, 2014

valentines day happy coupleI was in the car listening to a morning radio show and the woman disk jockey said:

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Wife Vs Mistress: The Age-Old Problem

Friday, January 10th, 2014

wife and mistressThe wife versus the mistress is an ancient issue. However, it’s 2014 and sex life coaching is here to make your sex life a lot better than it already is and creating real-world reasons for sticking with monogamy when that’s your desire.

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How Great Sex Can Free You, Not Imprison You.

Thursday, December 12th, 2013

Married to the Mob logoI was walking down in SoHo in NYC yesterday and saw a sticker slapped haphazzardly in true New York-style on the side of a mailbox that said:

Good Dcik Will Imprison You!

In small print at the bottom was the Married To The Mob reality show label. I went looking when I got home and found this blog post by Tabitha McGurr commenting on the same thing. Tabitha raises a good question, from a woman’s perspective: Why can’t a man who is hot, in whatever way (penis size, sexual abilities and comfort levels etc.), too often be, as she puts it, “totally emotionally unavailable, completely retarded, an overall asshole, or just all of the above?”

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Sex Life Coaching Can Solve Porn Attachment in Relationships

Sunday, December 1st, 2013

Porn addiction affecting relationshipsSometimes I work with clients who are coming to me with relationships where porn has become an issue in their sex lives. They want to know if sex life coaching can eliminate porn or integrate it at a reasonable level. While it’s true that one needs help from a psychologist when dealing with severe porn addiction, my brand of sex life coaching can resolve the most common forms of porn attachment, as I call it.

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Low Sugar Snack Breaks Before or During Sex: Kind Bars

Monday, November 4th, 2013

low sugar Kind BarsI coach my clients to have healthy snack options available if they’re hungry before starting a date night that swings right into sex, then dinner after (my preferred version). They wanted a sweet chocolate-oriented snack but couldn’t find one that was healthy enough until now.

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My Mentor, Betty Dodson, Named As One Of Cosmo’s Top Ten Sex Revolutionaries

Monday, October 28th, 2013

applause for Betty DodsonMy sex life coaching mentor, Betty Dodson, was acknowledged by Cosmopolitan Magazine as one of the top ten sex revolutionaries of all time.

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Two Major Ways To Be Hotter During Sex

Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013

This blog is about two of the major types of hot sex. I call them ravishment on one hand and skill-based or skill-stacking on the other. Both are necessary for a long term successful sex life. Let’s define them:

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Tips On How To Balance Parenthood and Your Sex Life

Tuesday, August 27th, 2013

Sex after kidsI work with clients who want a sex life along with parenthood and bring their issues to me for creative problem solving. Here is a rundown on some of the most common topics and my solutions:

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