A quote at left from my sex coach mentor, Betty. I did a private tally of the number of times friends, acquaintances, and new clients told me they planned on going out/stay in to have sex during their date night vs go to eat out, to a movie, play putt-putt, go shopping, or what have you.
It turned out that sex to be had was around 30% of the time if that.
One of the classic sexytimes I hear of are ones where the kids are sent to another location: grandparents’, the mall, sleeepovers. camps, etc. I don’t count those as date nights in the same way. That’s more like a hall pass. However, even though hall passes were taken up, so many people are using them to catch up on things or any other activity but having a great sex life.
I am also told that besides the effect American culture has on discouraging people from enjoying sex, making people think sex is one way and you can’t get better by going into details, they are bored with what they do in bed and anything they try that’s new either doesn’t work, or someone starts imagining they are taking too long or their partner is bored.
I could go on, but I think you all know without me having to catalog the tangled issues.
The only thing that creates great change for the better in life is someone saying, “Enough!” then imagining what they want instead, and finally, setting things in motion to go get it. Fight the bullshit myth that says you can’t get better at sex by going into details and that it makes it not sexy.
My clients threw all that away, took a new breath of fresh air, and started from the perspective that they and they alone make the decisions on their sex life and how it is designed. My clients aren’t rule-followers or that’s-just-the-way-things-are-zombies. They’re out there calling date night what it is: sex night! And maybe dinner after. Then more sex if possible.
My wife and I were told by our OB Gyn that sex would disappear pretty much from a parents’ life. While opportunities are fewer at the moment, the deprivation is actually making us more interested in each other. Not to mention how good the sex is.
Create a sex life where you really look forward to date nights/days and all the quickies in between because the two of you are really good at sex. It’s only natural that people hunger for more when they quality is high. There are plenty of foodies out there. Become a sexie too!