A Sex and Breakup Issue That’s Never Discussed


Breaking up with someone when your sexual skills don’t seem to work on your partner.

No one talks about it. It makes an ego sting when what one does well in bed fails. Blame is placed on the other person when much better responses exist. Here are some tips for dealing with this before deciding to break it off too soon.

1. Communicate. Talk with your partner to get more information on how good something feels that you’re doing. Maybe that something you think works… really isn’t significant at that time or to their body in general. Get info on the things they know is hot for them that perhaps did nothing for your last partner. If you’re in a marriage, this is especially important because you are sharing the same life with your partner now and there’s no easy way out of that.

2. Don’t fall into the trap of believing that a prized sexual skill you have used as a never-fails trick will always work. Even if it’s amazing for the vast majority of partners, be ready to accept just as smoothly that it won’t for the minority and switch seamlessly to something else in your skill set. Believe me, smooth transitions from things that aren’t working to different things that may work much better is impressive to your partner. It shows sophistication and caring about the whole process. Including them even if you’ve just met.

3. If you have the opportunity, read up on a particular kind of sexual indulgence that isn’t working out for you and your partner that you’ve been successful with previously. Practice together. There are things the pleasure receiver’s body needs time with during multiple sessions, so to speak, before it will work.

4. There is a bigger picture issue than if your partner can’t do or orgasm from one of your favorite sexual activities. What if she/he can have bigger orgasms from something completely different that you have never done with anyone else before? What if she/he can do things to you that are unique? What if they have a body or beauty type that really does it for you? What if they’re emotionally sound and aware? What if you’re in love with them? Consider these before you act too rashly.

5. If there is something you can’t live without in your sex life and you cannot work it out on your own, consider some sex life coaching. If it is an issue beyond professional coaching’s reach, then it’s good to be honest with yourself and take that seriously. You don’t want to ignore those feelings of doing without in a big way. That leads to messier breakups and divorces down the road. Choosing to end a connection with someone is okay. Just make sure you have thought it through and acted upon it beforehand.

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