Sex Life Coaching, the New Sex Therapy, Changed Melissa’s Life and Marriage
For my first blog post here on sexlifecoachnyc.com: the new sex therapy. I decided to show my readers the feedback I was given by a current sex life coaching client. She gave me written permission to post it and her name has been changed to “Melissa.” Other identifying details have been changed or removed for her privacy and security.
You’ll notice close to the end Melissa’s description of the marital therapists and marriage counselors she knows and how they deal with sex. I was surprised, but very happy to see Melissa’s agreement with my position that sex life coaching with me is a great addition to marital therapy. Then, read on for my commentary afterward.
Yes- sex life coaching transformed how I saw sex and understood it. I’m a 40 year old mother of 4 who has been married for 20 years. I was raised in the Bible belt and technically virgin on my wedding day. I was raised that anything sexually pleasing was harmful and just plain selfish or evil. Later in life, friends counseled me that even oral sex was wrong. Talk about a mind trip! Rules have relaxed somewhat for married couples, but it’s taken me many years to move past all this and your sex life coaching was an essential piece of the puzzle. I would not have the sex life I have today if it was not for you. Thank you!!
The thought of meeting with for the first time was daunting. A shot of vodka was consumed right before you arrived to give me the courage to actually discuss sex with a stranger. But I knew after researching you that Victor and I needed to meet with you. I love my husband dearly, but our sex life was really, really boring and I was unwilling to continue down that path.
You helped me get in touch with my sexual self – a part of me that I had buried a long time ago in the name of religion and later, motherhood. Thanks to you, I am really comfortable in my own skin again and am having the best sex ever. (Victor has changed as well- he doesn’t bury his desires anymore, he voices them.) I love sex now, really love it. I love giving my husband pleasure. I love receiving pleasure from him. Sex is passionate again. It’s hot and it continues to evolve – which I never thought could happen.
I look forward to each coaching session now. No vodka needed! Meeting with you is like sitting down with a close friend who is both capable and willing to tell you how to have the best sex of my life. It’s incredible. I realize I am paying you for this service, but I like to pretend we’re really friends and you’re just sharing info with me.
I could go off on several different tangents here..not sure which direction to take it. Let me know if you have more specific questions. I’m more than happy to answer them. Married couples need coaching from someone like you. It makes a marriage better.
See you next session,
PS- I have to say that I laughed out loud when I read your question about my experience with marriage therapists. The only ones I know are anti-porn, anti-oral sex and believe married couples should only “make love”, not have sex when you’re turned on. Sorry, I can’t help you there, but I do agree your service should go hand in hand with a marriage therapist. If I ever run across one, I will definitely connect the two of you.
Melissa made it clear in our first session that it was she who decided to have one of my 30-minute complimentary Talk Sessions with her husband Victor there next to her. They had a fun mini-session where I asked them to tell me one thing they’d like to improve in their sex life together. We spent fifteen minutes or so with me describing how to redesign what they wanted marked change in, then the specific communication skills I teach that makes sex talk, in the bedroom run smoothly. Victor made notes and we all three worked together with plenty of smiles and excitement all around until it was time to describe my payment options and other stipulations for how my sessions go and what is required.
To be clear to my readers, I do not have a bias against any religion vis a vi their sexuality beliefs. They have a right to their point of view the same as I have a right to mine. As I describe in my FAQs page, there is a full range of beliefs surrounding sexual expression throughout the world’s religions from fundamentalist conservatism to very liberal. My interest is to be of service for those whose beliefs allow for the enjoyment of sex to the extent they are comfortable. My Specialized Coaching Options page has an offering I call Coaching For Conservatives that has served a number of conservative couples and singles very well.
Melissa commented on how she was nervous before her first Talk Session with me. What I see in my clients, similar to Melissa’s reading, is they finally have a resource and and outlet to discuss sex on an adult, sophisticated level with no concerns for embarrassment. Before now, psychologists and psychotherapists were the only outlet for private sexual discussion. The difference is my training and emphasis makes the discussion go in different directions. There are also clients who have said to me that they aren’t interested in talking to a therapist and prefer the coach format. I’m excited to bring this new option in personal development to the table.